


dude, i think your cat ships us

by kyoongs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Attempt at Humor, Baek gets terrorized by a cat, Five Times, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Neighbours AU, Swearing, mention of jongin, plot twist at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:36:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoongs/pseuds/kyoongs
Summary: five times Baekhyun wanted to murder his hot neighbour’s cat and the one time they bonded. (in which Baekhyun falls in love with Junmyeon and yeah, his damn cat too)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be short and sweet but I got inspired by various prompts and my own cat and this is the result. Enjoy!

**i**

 

When Baekhyun had found a great, albeit small, apartment within walking distance from his university, he nearly cried. The apartment was better than most shoeboxes broke-ass college students inhabited and he could afford the rent with his meagre salary from the coffee shop around the block. It was as if some higher power had witnessed all his sufferings and had decided to grant him a reprieve. 

Being larger than your average shoebox apartment, it was big enough to accommodate his friends on many weekends when they needed a break from all things college related. Baekhyun mentally thanked every deity out there that finally, something had gone right in his life and he could now fully focus on school and his social life.

And, in particular, focus on his hot neighbour.

Baekhyun had never expected any visitors on his first day at his new place, save for Jongdae and Kyungsoo, who had helped him move out of their dorm room. So he was understandably perplexed when there was a loud knock at his door once he had just began to impress his butt on his new couch.

He figured it was someone who had knocked at the wrong door for a delivery or visit and had an apology waiting on his lips when he opened the door. However, instead of a lost soul, he was greeted with milky white skin, a chiselled jaw and a smile so bright, he had to blink to clear the spots from his vision. 

And there he was. The super-hot guy you see at church and think of all the things you want to do, all of which are definitely not church-appropriate. 

“Hello neighbour!” A voice as soothing as a soft breeze on a hot day trickled out of soft, plump lips.

Baekhyun removed his gaze (with much effort) from his visitors lips and took a step back to properly look him over. “Neighbour?”

“I live next door,” Hot Guy from Church grinned. “We’re neighbours!”

Baekhyun mentally thanked every deity out there to have granted him with a hot neighbour he would not hesitate to worry for stuff like milk and sugar. 

 

(Do people even do that or does that just happen in movies? Baekhyun would find out soon.)

 

“Hi,” the brown haired male manage to choke out and proceeded to kick himself mentally, because he sounded _so_ lame. 

“Here, I just finished making some gingersnap biscuits.” His neighbour extended a small container to him. “I figured they’d make a good housewarming gift.”

“Wow, thanks,” Baekhyun couldn’t stop the surprise that leaked into his voice. “That’s very nice of you.”

“You’re welcome,” Another blinding smile. “I’m Junmyeon, by the way.”

“Baekhyun.” The brunette offered a grateful smile. “At least I know someone here, which makes me feel better.”

“Don’t hesitate to knock if you ever need anything!” His neighbour - _Junmyeon_ \- advised. “I have to run but I’ll see you around!”

“See you!” Baekhyun lifted the container in both gratitude and a farewell. He watched Junmyeon saunter back to his own apartment whilst shamelessly ogling his very nice, very firm behind.

Yeah, Baekhyun could get used to living here pretty quickly.

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

It was a week later when Baekhyun received his second housewarming gift, courtesy of Kyungsoo. Ever the practical one, he gifted Baekhyun with a welcome doormat. “So we have somewhere to wipe our shoes instead of tracking dirt through your apartment."

“Awwwh thanks, Kyungsoo-yah!” Baekhyun had loudly and obnoxiously thanked his friend. “You can come over anytime!”

“And me?!” Jongdae’s voice was equally loud and obnoxious. “I was your friend first!”

“Yes, but Kyungsoo got me a gift,” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow. “What did you get me? You only helped to carry one box and then claimed the couch because you were _‘too exhausted to do anything else’_.”

“Excuse me?” Jongdae sputtered, his kitten lips drawn back in indignation. “This is what I get for all my troubles? How dare you?! What have you ever given me, huh?

Now it was the brunette’s turn to be outraged. “I have given you so many gifts! Don’t you remember what an amazing gift I gave you last Christmas?”

“A selfie,” Jongdae deadpanned. “You gave me a fucking selfie.”

“This face is great!” Baekhyun argued. “You’re lucky to get a selfie, much less a _signed_ one!”

_“A fucking selfie, seriously?!”_

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

Baekhyun had grown fond of his new doormat. It was a reminder of his newfound independency and luck whenever he returned to his apartment. So one can imagine when he returned home after a particularly gruelling day of classes to see a glob of orangey-brown mush resting on the corner of his door.

Curiously, he bent down to inspect it and promptly recoiled when his olfactory senses were ignited with an odour so horrendous that tears sprang to his eyes.

“Oh, oh _God_.”

“Baekhyun?” And an angel appeared from the Heavens and surveyed him with concern. “What’s the matter?”

“That.” The brunette pointed a shaky finger in the direction of the mush. “I have no idea what that is but it fucking stinks like shit.”

Junmyeon stepped closer, repeating Baekhyun’s actions and then recoiled. Except, instead of confusion and disgust, his face was full of realisation and horror.

“Oh no, I am so sorry!”

“Wait.” Baekhyun’s hand left his nose as he straightened. “Do you know what that is?” 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Junmyeon sighed. “It seems like my cat puked here.”

“You have a cat?” Baekhyun couldn’t stop the automatic grimace. Cats were Satan’s pet and he would rather pick Jongin’s dogs over cats, which speaks for itself.

Junmyeon nodded. “I’m really sorry about the mess he made. Look, I’ll replace your mat and everything, is that okay?”

The cat vomit was almost already gone from his mind when Baekhyun saw his neighbour’s apologetic look. If possible, he looked even more attractive. 

“Nah,” Baekhyun shrugged, “I’ll clean it up. Just, make sure he doesn’t do it again?”

“I promise,” Junmyeon looked so relieved that Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile. Curse his damn hot neighbour who looked like he could get away with anything. Damnit.

 

(A week later, the same shitty gift greeted him.

Another week later, it happened again.

By the end of the month, Baekhyun wanted to murder his hot neighbour’s cat.)

 

**ii**

 

Without fail, Friday became the day Baekhyun spring cleaned his apartment, ridding it of all the empty chips packets and washing all the accumulated dirty dishes. What can he say, he’s a college student with a part-time job and he doesn’t have any flatmates to make an effort for. 

Ever since he moved into his apartment, everything had been going well for the brunette. He had gotten great marks for his assignments, his boss gave him a raise and, recently, his neighbour’s cat had stopped puking on his mat.

It all seemed a bit too good to be true.

Baekhyun was used to life dropping some crap on him every now and then, so he was unconsciously waiting for the other shoe to drop. He expected his classes to become unbearable or for a shitty customer to get him fired, or, even worse, for Junmyeon to move out of his apartment. But nothing of that sort happened.

Until it did.

Friday came around sooner than Baekhyun had expected. He entered his apartment, muscles ready to tackle this week’s worth of dirt. Now, remember, Baekhyun was a stressed out college student living alone. He had no roommates and hadn’t even given his friends a key to his apartment. 

So you can imagine his terror when something in his kitchen fell and shattered. A cold hand closed around his heart and he stiffened. He could practically hear every single piece of whatever broken dish clatter against the tiles.

“Who’s there?” Baekhyun called out, voice wavering like his heart. “I’m armed, you picked on the wrong guy to rob!”

He grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be his shoe, and advanced towards the kitchen. Adrenaline rushed through his veins and he mentally prayed it wasn’t a robber. Before he could chicken out and surrender himself, he ran inside the kitchen and shrieked at the top of his lungs, waving his shoe wildly.

“Yaaaaahhhh!”

_”MEOW!”_

“WHAT THE FU- _OW!_ ”

Baekhyun recoiled as his hip slammed into his kitchen table. A string of expletives escaped his mouth as he clutched his side and glared at the intruder. Beautiful feline eyes met his and he swore he could see deep judgement there.

The cat was perched on his sink and surveyed him with ginger eyes. It looked at the sink, where the dirty dishes were haphazardly stacked, and then at Baekhyun. It seemed to mock him and his dirty dishes.

“I don’t have time to wash dishes, okay?” Baekhyun clutched his heart. “And why the fuck are you here? How did you even get it?!”

The brunette sighed heavily and rubbed his hip. He brought his other hand to rub his eyes, trying to physically erase the headache that started to appear. 

“Fuck cats, seriously.”

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

Baekhyun struggled to hold the ball of fur as he knocked on his neighbour’s door. “Be still, asshole,” he whispered to the cat, who was trying to break free of his grip.

He managed to school his features into something more pleasant when the door opened and greeted Junmyeon with a smile.

“Baekhyun, hey!” Junmyeon shot him a dazzling grin. “What brings you over?”

“I assume this is yours.” Without warning, Baekhyun thrusted the animal at Junmyeon. “He broke my dish.”

A look of mortification descended on Junmyeon’s face. “Oh God, I am so sorry!”

He gently took the cat from Baekhyun’s grasp and – get this – the fucker immediately stopped squirming and rubbed his head on Junmyeon’s chin. It also had the audacity to widen its eyes at his hot neighbour and, had Baekhyun not known what evil it was capable of, he would have found the sight to be too adorable.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun regretted the words as soon as they left his traitorous mouth. Curse his hot neighbour and his good looks.

“How did he even get in there?” Junmyeon was just as flabbergasted as the brunette. “I swear he didn’t leave my apartment.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Baekhyun shrugged. “I’ll see you around, though. I’ve got a mess to sort out.”

He chuckled, thinking of all the dirt waiting for him, and sighed inwardly when he said goodbye to his neighbour. Oh well, at least the damn cat was a good excuse to see him again.

(The next week, another dish was broken and Baekhyun considered cat-proofing his windows and doors.)

 

**iii**

 

Whereas Kyungsoo took great care to make sure his outfits always matched (re: all black, all day, every day), Baekhyun couldn’t give a rat’s ass if his one sock didn’t match the other. 

However, he did notice when his underwear and socks decreased in number.

Minutes bled into hours and hours bled into days as he scoured his apartment for his depleted underwear and sock collection. He was certain he didn’t drop them when he did laundry and he was more than certain that he didn’t forget them when he left his one night stand’s place. Not like he had been having one night stands – his sex life was sadly non-existent. 

He rallied his newfound problem to his best friends, who never passed an opportunity to tease him. 

“Well, maybe it’s time you upgraded your underwear. Think of it as a blessing.” Jongdae chortled. “Now you can buy new clothes for your little one!”

“Your little one needs new clothes!” Baekhyun retorted. “Seriously guys, this is ridiculous. Where is my underwear disappearing to?!”

“Ri-DICK-ulous!”

“Shut it, Jongdae.”

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

The answer came when Baekhyun entered the elevator the next day as he made his way to work. A shout made him hold the door open and a second later, a breathless Junmyeon thanked him.

“Whatcha’ got there?” Baekhyun’s curiosity got the better of him when he saw his neighbour hold a small stack of flyers.

Junmyeon sheepishly held up one. “It seems like my cat has been hoarding someone’s underwear and socks. I really hope the person isn’t mad.”

Baekhyun’s eye twitched dangerously as he recognised one of his boxers in the small picture provided.

 _“Diablo!”_ He hissed.

“Excuse me?” Junmyeon’s brow furrowed in confusion.

The brunette gathered whatever tolerance he had and said, “Those are my underwear. And I’m pretty sure those are my socks to. In fact, that all looks like mine.”

Baekhyun had come to associate horror and embarrassment with Junmyeon. He wasn’t surprised to see his neighbour’s eyes widen and it genuinely seemed as if his spirit had left his body.

“Oh my God, I really am so sorry!”

“You can return it to me later,” Baekhyun waved his hand dismissively. “Sorry you wasted money on those flyers, though.”

“That’s okay,” Junmyeon shot him an awkward smile. “I think I deserve it.”

“Your cat seems evil,” Baekhyun grimaced. “That or he’s not a fan of me.”

His neighbour worried his upper lip and Baekhyun found himself staring at those pink lips once again. Seriously, how are anyone’s lips so pink and perfect? It should be illegal, is what it is. 

“He’s generally very friendly towards new people,” Junmyeon mused. “I wonder what’s up with him.”

The elevator dinged and opened, snapping the two out of their reverie. Baekhyun glanced outside, not wanting to end his conversation with his hot neighbour. But then he brightened when he realised he’d have to pay the other a visit later.

“I’ll pick up my stuff after work,” Baekhyun grinned, already over his anger. “See you then?”

“Yeah, sure!” Junmyeon smiled gratefully. “And, uh, thanks for not being mad, again.”

As if on impulse, he reached out and hugged the brunette. Baekhyun was frozen, body already mourning at the loss of heat from the other’s body. Junmyeon waved and watched as Baekhyun exited the elevator, a look of shock on his face. As the elevator closed and his neighbour disappeared, Baekhyun pressed a hand to his chest to feel his heart going into overdrive.

Shit. He was in too deep already.

 

**iv**

 

If there was one thing Baekhyun had to thank that damn cat for, it was that he got to see his neighbour much more often. He had discovered that Junmyeon was also a college student and had plans to open his own bakery once he was done with his degree. They attended the same university but their schedules never allowed them to meet on campus. In fact, the only time they saw each other was in passing or when Junmyeon’s cat imperceptibly terrorized Baekhyun.

Which, really, he doesn’t mind that much. He’d take missing underwear over cat vomit any day.

Baekhyun had started to feel the burden of college once again as midterms approached. He found himself greeting the early hours of a new day whilst finishing up studying or assignments. The aftermath left him sleep-deprived and stealing coffee from work when no one was around. One consolation was that his friends were experiencing the same stress. At least he wasn’t isolated in his suffering.

The brunette had just finished submitting an essay that was due in the next ten minutes and he was ready to sleep for a very long time. He all but collapsed on his bed, mind fried from all the information it interpreted and regurgitated. His eyes closed and he happily allowed sleep to claim him.

Four hours later, his eyes snapped open.

Baekhyun blinked wearily, wondering why he was awake. He glanced to his clock and noted it was 4 a.m. He groaned. What could possibly wake him up at such an ungodly hour?!

Then he heard it.

It was almost inaudible over his loud groan. When he stopped moving, and perhaps breathing, he realised it was the sound of scratching. His blood ran cold. Every single horror movie he’d ever watched flashed through his mind and he prayed to every deity out there that it wasn’t some fucked up vengeful spirit about to kill him. He was too young for this.

The scratching grew louder, more insistent. Baekhyun sat up and grabbed his phone, turning on the torch app. He slowly woke up from his bed and searched for a weapon. The best thing he could find was a huge ass textbook that he was certain would knock someone out cold.

Baekhyun followed the sound of the scratching and ended up at the door to his apartment. The scratching momentarily ceased before resuming at a louder pace. The brunette gulped as he inserted the key into the lock. It was now or never.

He swung the door open, ready to knock the lights out of the intruder, and was confused when he heard a small thump and saw nothing else. His phone illuminated the deserted hallway in front of him.

Then he felt a brush of fur against his toes and he bit back a scream.

“What the FUCK?!” He whisper-yelled. He looked down and saw the orangey-brown cat that he despised.

The cat stared up at him, its eyes flashing under his phone light. It glanced to his hand and Baekhyun flushed when he hid the textbook behind him.

“Why are you judging me?!” He hissed at the cat. “And what the fuck are you doing here, Satan’s spawn? Get out!”

He tried to move the cat with his foot but it merely shot him an unimpressed look before jumping over said foot and prancing into his apartment, tail straight and proud.

Baekhyun quickly locked his door before scurrying after the cat. “Look here, buddy. You better get the hell out of my apartment before I kick you out myself.”

The cat jumped on his couch and settled in the corner. It blinked lazily up at Baekhyun before resting its head on its paws and closing its eyes.

Baekhyun gaped at the animal for a few minutes. The cat didn’t move. 

“Ugh, whatever!” He threw his hands up in the air. “Fuck it. Do whatever you want. I’m going back to bed. Try not to destroy my apartment, please.”

Rubbing a hand over his face, he returned to his bed and dropped the textbook on the floor. He checked his phone and grimaced at the time. Why was this his life?!

He returned to sleep, thinking of all the ways he could murder his neighbour’s cat. Needless to say, he had pleasant dreams. When he woke the next morning, the cat was nowhere to be found.

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

_Junmyeon walked Baekhyun back to his apartment and they stood outside his door for a moment. Baekhyun looked down at his neighbour, who was slightly shorter._

_“I had a great time.” Junmyeon smiled up at the brunette. His gaze dropped to the other’s lips and moved slowly, enticingly back to his eyes._

_“Me too,” almost unconsciously, Baekhyun licked his lips. He copied Junmyeon’s action, staring at those pink lips he’d first noticed._

_They moved as one, crashing their lips against each other. Within seconds, Baekhyun had his door unlocked and they tumbled in, hands roaming each other’s bodies and lips connected._

_“J-Junmyeon,” Baekhyun gasped when they separated for air._

_“Junmyeon!”_

 

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun moaned loudly. His eyes flew open when he registered a screeching sound that was a bit too familiar. 

The brunette gasped as he clutched his sheets, heart still racing from his dream. He inwardly cursed his neighbour’s cat for ruining a very good fantasy and waited for a few minutes with the hopes of the cat disappearing.

4:10 a.m. and the cat did not cease its insistent scratching.

Another ten minutes and it persisted.

With a cry of rage, Baekhyun jumped up and rushed to his door. He unlocked it in record time and hissed at the cat, “Fuck OFF!”

The cat shot him an unamused look and entered his apartment. Exhausted and exasperated, he returned to his room without sparing another thought for the cat. His sleep was more important anyway.

And hopefully he could resume his dream of making out with his hot neighbour.

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

As the days passed, Baekhyun and his neighbour’s cat developed a routine of sorts. Baekhyun would fall asleep whenever his college work would allow and the cat would unfailingly scratch at his door at 4 a.m. on the dot. Baekhyun wasn’t exactly a happy camper but he also didn’t want to complain to his neighbour and remove their main topic of conversation.

“You’re so fucking whipped.” Kyungsoo remarked. “And you and Junmyeon hardly interact.”

“I need to be nice to our future daughter or son,” Baekhyun retorted indignantly. “It’s practice.”

He was polite enough to ignore Kyungsoo’s snort of _”Yeah, right.”_

Practice, is all. 

 

Baekhyun was contemplating all the ways he could prank Jongdae when the elevator opened on his floor and he nearly walked into someone.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!”

The brunette glanced up to see striking feline eyes meet his. His brow automatically furrowed and he stared for longer than what was considered polite.

“Baekhyun!” His neighbour’s soft and deep voice yanked him out of his gawking and he swiftly glanced to Junmyeon. “This is my best friend, Minseok.”

Baekhyun politely bowed, hoping to cover up for his stare. “Hello, I’m Junmyeon’s neighbour.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Amusement was laced with Minseok’s voice. Despite being shorter, his striking eyes and his muscles, which strained against his simple white shirt, were a combination deadly enough to intimidate the brunette.

“Good things, I hope,” Baekhyun joked, shooting Junmyeon a fake glare. 

“Nothing but them.” Minseok assured. “I’ve gotta go, but hopefully we’ll see each other soon.”

His words seemed to be fastened with a secret unbeknownst to the brunette. He stepped out of the elevator whilst Junmyeon and his friend bid farewell to each other and waited until the elevator doors were closed. Junmyeon fell into step beside him and they completed the short walk to their apartments. 

“What do you have planned for the weekend?” Junmyeon asked as they stopped at his door.

“Gonna take a trip back home with my friends to see our families,” Baekhyun grinned. “I’ll be back on Monday, though. What about you?”

Jumnyeon’s expression seemed to fall. “Nothing really, just some stupid college party on which I don’t feel like attending.”

“Have fun.” The brunette laughed. He lifted his hand in a wave. “See you soon!”

As Baekhyun turned to leave, he heard a heavy sigh behind him, sounding full of disappointment and something else he couldn’t identify. He wondered what that was about.

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

Thunderstorms were never a favourite of Baekhyun’s. He preferred clear cerulean skies and the greenery standing out under the sun’s rays. Rain and storms, however, were perfect for catching up with some work or holing up in his apartment to watch series all day long.

What he didn’t expect, though, was the sound of scratching at his door soon after a loud clap of thunder. Baekhyun paused the drama he was watching and groaned loudly. After a moment, he resumed the video on his laptop. He hit the pause button again, not even a few seconds later, when the scratching turned into what sounded like hammering. 

Baekhyun stood quickly and safely set down his laptop. He crossed the room to the front door, where it sounded as if the cat was hurling its body against the door. 

He opened the door just as the cat jumped up and it ended up hitting his leg. Baekhyun cried out and watched as the cat scurried inside, paws sliding against the tiles.

Once the door was locked, he had to search the apartment before finding the cat under his bed.

“Whatcha’ doing there, little man?” Baekhyun stretched his hand as far as it would go. 

The cat hissed, its eyes flashing in the dark. The brunette was quick to withdraw his hand and sighed. “Look, buddy. We’re not fans of each other. But if you’re scared, I’m gonna be up here watching videos on my laptop. Feel free to join me. We don’t have to mention this again.”

He exited his room and returned with his laptop. Settling himself on his bed, he resumed his drama and kept his eyes fixated on the bed, even when he felt the cat jump up on his bed.

A smile graced his lips when he felt a brush of fur against his arm. 

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun whispered as he slowly scratched behind the cat’s ears. “Thunder used to scare me when I was a kid.”

He glanced to the cat and was pleased to note that its eyes were less scared. Maybe he was crazy or maybe there was gratitude reflected there as well.

Silence reigned as Baekhyun petted the cat and watched his drama. It was towards the end of the episode when both the brunette and the cat were startled due to a loud knocking at the front door.

“Who could that be?” Baekhyun wondered aloud. 

He gave the cat a final pat before going to see who was trying to break down his door. He was pleasantly surprised to see Junmyeon gasping for air.

“M-My cat, Xiumin, I can’t find him.” Junmyeon desperately tried to get air to enter his lungs. “I need help. To find him. P-Please.”

“Xiumin?” Baekhyun wanted to laugh. He finally had the name of that dreadful creature. “Come on in.”

He noted his neighbour’s dishevelled and drenched appearance. Junmyeon stopped to remove his shoes and followed Baekhyun.

“Sorry, Baekhyun, but I really need to find my cat.” Junmyeon sounded worried. “He’s not fond of storms and – wait is that him?!”

Xiumin stared up at his owner with wide eyes. Baekhyun laughed as his neighbour gaped at his cat, an odd mixture of betrayal and relief evident on his face.

“Would you like to join us?” Baekhyun asked. “We’re watching Cinderella and Four Knights. It’s a good episode, I promise.”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon faintly replied. “Let me just go get some clothes.”

“You can borrow some of mine,” Baekhyun offered. “And I’ll tell you a really funny story.” 

 

**v**

 

Ever since the thunderstorm, Baekhyun ceased waking up at ungodly hours to unlock his front door for the cat. In fact, the cat – Xiumin – was absent for several days following the incident. Baekhyun assumed it was because the cat was somewhat embarrassed and he would be lying if he said he missed the cat.

(Actually, that was a real lie. Baekhyun did miss the cat. He’d grown fond of its expressive face.)

So balance was restored when, a week later, Xiumin appeared out of nowhere in his apartment.

“You know, I’m not even going to question how you get in here anymore.” Baekhyun threw his hands up in the air when he caught sight of the orangey-brown cat.

Xiumin meowed, quite demandingly, and jumped up on the table, scattering Baekhyun’s notes. The cat pawed at the pages before settling down and closing its eyes.

“I need to do my work, creature of hell,” Baekhyun glared at the cat. “Move!”

The cat didn’t listen. It cracked an eye open and stared at the brunette for a moment, before closing its eyes and ignoring him.

Baekhyun cursed loudly before grabbing whatever notes the cat wasn’t sleeping upon and attempted to get some work done. The day passed quickly enough and Baekhyun only took notice when he saw the setting sun through his balcony.

He sighed and woke up to make himself a cup of coffee. College sucked ass.

When he returned, the cat was gone and in its place was a horrible, horrible stink. 

Baekhyun gagged and pressed a hand to his nose. “Oh god, what the fuck is that smell?!”

He followed the stench to a small puddle near his balcony. A sniff in the puddle’s direction caused him to recoil and curse loudly. “That fucking cat!”

A minute later, Google registered his search of _’how to clean cat pee’_.

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

“This is ridiculous,” Was the first thing Baekhyun said when he returned home from work to be greeted by another puddle.

It was the third one this week and he was frustrated. His apartment had not lost the putrid odour of cat pee and he wondered how something so small could smell so bad. Then he remembered, Satan’s spawn. That explained everything.

The fourth time, he caught the cat trying to make a break for it whilst the incriminating puddle was left behind. 

“Oh no you don’t!” Baekhyun dropped his bag and lunged for the cat. It let out a loud meow when the brunette’s hands closed around its middle and thrashed wildly.

“NO!” Baekhyun shrieked. “I am putting an end to this! I am not going to be bullied by a creature of hell. I am too young for this!”

Surprisingly, Xiumin stopped his squirming. Baekhyun side-eyed the cat as he stormed to his neighbour’s apartment. He knocked loudly and tapped his foot impatiently, holding the cat away from his body.

The door opened to reveal a smiling Junmyeon. “Baekhyun, hey! What are you – is that Xiumin?!”

Baekhyun held the cat out. “Junmyeon, you’re too hot and I can’t allow this anymore. This cat has puked on my mat, stolen my underwear, made me lose sleep, broke my dishes and now he won’t stop peeing in my apartment! I don’t know where you got this evil creature but you need to make him stop!”

“He did WHAT?!” Junmyeon’s smile vanished. “I am so sorry!”

He took the cat and glared at it. “Xiumin, bad kitty! Now get inside, we need to have a talk.”

The cat pawed at Junmyeon’s shoulder before launching itself to the ground. The neighbours watched as the cat pranced inside, tail twisting proudly. 

“I’m sorry about that.” Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair. “I really don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s been a nightmare recently.”

Baekhyun bit back whatever biting remark he was about to make and nodded. “Cat pee stinks like shit though.”

“I can’t believe he did that!” Junmyeon was horrified. “Also, I’m too hot?”

The brunette’s cheeks coloured. He hadn’t meant to say that. “Yeah, about that…”

“Let’s go out for dinner tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Incredulity seeped into Baekhyun’s voice. “Huh?!”

Junmyeon rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “It’s the least I can do to make it up to you. And I’ve been trying to work up the courage to ask you out, so it’s now or never, I guess.”

“You’ve been what?” It seemed as if Baekhyun’s brain had short-circuited. “When now?”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon chuckled. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow? Unless you don’t want to, then that’s totally fine or –“

“No!” Baekhyun yelled and then winced inwardly. “I mean, I’d love to go on a date with you. It is a date, right?”

“It’s a date.” Junmyeon confirmed and smiled. He leaned in and quickly pecked Baekhyun on the lips.

The brunette opened and closed his mouth several times. He blinked quickly and touched his lips gingerly. “Aren’t you supposed to kiss after the first date?”

“That hardly qualifies as a kiss.” Junmyeon winked. “See you tomorrow, Baekhyun.”

As soon as the door was closed, Baekhyun whooped loudly. He didn’t even feel embarrassed when he heard Junmyeon’s laugh.

Xiumin was surely Satan’s spawn but at least he scored Baekhyun a very hot date.

 

**\+ vi**

 

When Baekhyun had found a great, albeit small, apartment within walking distance from his university, he nearly cried. When he discovered the apartment came with a smoking hot Church boy neighbour, he nearly cried. When he met said hot neighbour’s spawn of Satan cat, he actually did cry. And when he and Junmyeon started dating, he cried but for completely different reasons.

It was as if some higher power had decided to punish him by getting a cat to terrorise him and then gifted him in the form of Junmyeon. 

Baekhyun’s life was never better.

He was almost done with his degree, he had gotten a job offer from a rising music company and he was a good two months into his relationship with Junmyeon, which was flourishing with each day that passed. He had never felt so happy before. Maybe his apartment was luckier than he’d thought.

He was relaxing in said apartment when he got a call from his boyfriend.

“Baekhyun-ah, can you do me a favour?”

“Sure, what’s up?” 

“I have an appointment in the other side of the city and there’s a thunderstorm coming, would you mind cat-sitting Xiumin?”

Baekhyun paused. Ever since he and Junmyeon began dating, Xiumin had ceased his reign of terror. It was now common to come home to a clean, pee-free apartment. He liked to think the cat had warmed up to him ever since the first storm incident and he wasn’t going to lie, now that Xiumin had stopped being such a menace, he was kind of adorable.

“No problem,” Baekhyun grinned. “I haven’t seen him in a while, I just hope he won’t break any more dishes or pee somewhere.”

“He won’t,” Junmyeon promised. “And thank you so much! I owe you on.”

“Mmh,” Baekhyun hummed. “You’ll make up for it.”

Another thing Baekhyun had delightfully discovered was that Junmyeon was not the Church boy as he had initially thought. Anything but, if the way he made Baekhyun moan suggested. 

It wasn’t long before Junmyeon entered his apartment and dropped Xiumin on the couch next to the brunette. Baekhyun took a moment to admire his boyfriend in a tight button down and allowed himself to be pulled up into a hug.

“When will you be back?” Baekhyun sighed against Junmyeon’s neck.

“I should be back by tonight,” Junmyeon’s breath hit Baekhyun’s ear and he shivered slightly.

“I’ll order us something for dinner.” The brunette grinned when they broke apart. “We can do nothing but watch movies.”

“I’d like to do other things as well.” Junmyeon waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Baekhyun groaned in mortification. 

He shook his head as his boyfriend laughed like a high schooler. Despite his second-hand embarrassment, he couldn’t wait to take off that shirt and appreciate what was beneath it. 

With a kiss that left Baekhyun breathless, Junmyeon departed. The brunette turned to the cat and grinned at its semi-judgemental stare. 

“Guess it’s just you and me now, catboy.”

 

ᄼーᄾ  
( °ѫ ° )

 

Rain drummed against his windows and the sky rumbled with the promise of more thunder. Baekhyun turned up the volume on his laptop so he could hear it through the storm. Next to him, Xiumin surreptitiously snuggled closer to the brunette and he smiled to himself.

The cat had been well-behaved throughout the day, only meowing loudly when he wanted Baekhyun to pet him. It was safe to say that they had buried their rivalry and it made Junmyeon happy to see them getting along. And Baekhyun wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

Baekhyun started to sing along to the ending song as the episode finished. His fingers unconsciously stroked Xiumin’s fur and a sigh of contentment escaped his lips. 

Everything was silent, save for the repetitive rhythm of the rain. A rumble began and ended with a piercing roar of thunder. Baekhyun jumped and cursed when his laptop started to slide from his lap. He dived for it, jostling the cat in the process. Xiumin’s eyes snapped open and he surveyed the brunette with mild irritation. 

“Got it!” Baekhyun beamed as he settled back into place. He squirmed, trying to resume his comfortable position. He was so fixated on his laptop that he took no notice of the cat. His elbow accidentally pinched the cat’s tail and it let out a high-pitched hiss.

“I’m sorry Xiu – what THE FUCK WHO ARE YOU?!”

Baekhyun screamed and scrambled back. His head hit the wall and the pain didn’t register, as the shock of seeing a naked man cuddled up to him overtook it.

Said naked man had an expression of guilt and annoyance. Baekhyun’s heart pounded painfully against his chest and he pointed a shaky finger at the man.

“Minseok? What the fuck, man?!”

He immediately recognised Junmyeon’s best friend, who he had gotten to know better over the past few weeks. He wasn’t too happy with this encounter, however.

“Listen, Baek, I can explain –“

“You better! What did you do with Xiumin? Where is he?!”

“I’m Xiumin!”

Minseok’s confession halted Baekhyun’s rant. The brunette’s jaw dropped and he stammered, “W-What?”

“Xiumin is me,” Minseok brought a hand up to rub his neck. “Uh, surprise?”

“HOLY HELL ARE YOU AN ANIMAGUS IS MAGIC REAL _WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!_ ”

“Harry Potter isn’t real.” Feline eyes narrowed in irritation. “And no, I’m not an Animagus. You’d be a terrible muggle if I was one.”

“Muggle?!” Baekhyun sputtered indignantly. “How dare you? You have a lot of explaining to do. Why’d you pee in my apartment and puke on my mat and steal my underwear? You’re – You’re a creature from hell!”

Minseok let out a loud laugh. “I’m sorry about all of that but you and Junmyeon were so fucking oblivious to each other! How else could I get you two to talk and bump uglies?”

“Who even says that anymore?” Baekhyun scrunched up his face in revulsion. “Wait, so you were playing matchmaker?!”

“Uh, surprise?” Minseok shrugged shamelessly. “If I hadn’t done something, you would still be skirting around each other and you’d be dreaming of boning him and –“

“OKAY!” The brunette’s ears burned with embarrassment. “That’s enough.”

“I really am sorry about what I did, it wasn’t my proudest moments.” Minseok offered. “But, not gonna lie, you were fun to scare.”

“Diablo!” Baekhyun hissed.

Minseok laughed again and Baekhyun couldn’t help but crack a smile. This was so crazy; he still needed time to process what had happened.

The sound of the door unlocking and opening caused the two to fall silent. A moment later, Junmyeon appeared at the door to Baekhyun’s bedroom and announced, “Honey, I’m home!”

Junmyeon eyes widened comically as he took in the sight of his boyfriend backed up against the wall and his best friend sitting fully nude next to him. 

Baekhyun waved weakly and Minseok’s ear twitched slightly. Junmyeon sighed and rubbed his eyebrow. 

“You know what, I don’t even want to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me [here](http://baekwolves.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Thanks for reading!


End file.
